Microstiff - Microsoft Outings of the Third Kind

Monday, October 09, 2006

Microstiff - Take Off that Spirit Gum Moustache, LisaB...

...we know it's you! You can't hide behind that eastern European dialect...forever! Each posting is sprinkled with more and more "the's" and better and better words; if I didn't know better, I'd say you were becoming...well...unraveled.

Honestly, your latest post, Sunday, October 08, 2006 11:39:13 PM, (burning the midnight oil, are we?) is filled with clues:

  • "It is one way to measure the market value of an asset. A good employee is an asset. In economics, the market value of an asset is not what a person think the value but it is what two persons think its value is." - suddenly the eastern European demeanor gives way to Keynesian economics. Rank and file just doesn't think this way; this is coming out of the mouth of a corporate chess player of the HR ilk.
  • "Take the house example above. Suppose you and your spouse are the only two persons who thinks the house is one million but all other thinks it is only half a million (assume you and your spouse have the same joint bank account). Now, what do you think you want to pay for the house? Do you want you and your spouse competing for the same asset? I bet no. Then why do you want the two groups of Microsoft compete with each other when the salary is going to come out from the same bank account? Microsoft wants you to move freely within the company. But it does not want that the new group gets you by offering more money." - More HR-think. Above all else, encourage growth without expense. Pitiful.

  • "Microsoft wants that the new group attracts you by offering more opportunity to work better. This is the reason why Microsoft does not want the new group to offer a higher level." - Bullshit! They want to save a buck. More foot shooting, if you ask this author.

  • "Of course, a strict policy no matter how good it is is never optimal. I am glad Microsoft corrected it in the sense that if the move is an exceptional case then a promotion can be offered." - Yes, of course, we here at HR are always willing to consider the ultra-exceptional case where the employee doesn't REALLY understand how valuable they are and we do. Then...we'll split the difference.
  • "Value of a multi-facet asset like an employee is quite subjective. It is not always clear what an employee is truly worth." - More high level HR-speak; and...where'd that accent go, Lisa? Your moustache is drooping.

  • "Like you are never in the market to continuously evaluate your market value similarly the manager does not continuosly keep evaluating you." - HR-speak for "too much effing work...plus, they know the answer, anyway, your value is...well....higher!

  • "In business it is always professionalism or say money talk. Nobody takes anything personally." - There's the accent! Whew, I was concerned about the possibility of the total Americanization of this eastern European with the big vocabulary and dangling participles! Oh, and by the way, you're right Lisa, nobody ever takes anything personally in business, especially managers feeling betrayed by team members wanting to leave their glorious department. Oh, there's one other group of people who also just might take things personally: Effing Human Beings!

Mini-Microsoft: Microsoft Internal Transfers Just Got a Whole Lot Easier

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