Microstiff - Microsoft Outings of the Third Kind

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Vomitus KoolAidicus

A recent Mini-Microsoft poster said:

I am impressed. Jeff Raike announced in the http://give web site that MSFT has raised 63 millions for the giving campaign.

I think our partners should have given a lot this time. Good for them and good for all of us."

…And, Merry Christmas one and all Tiny Tim.

Ahhooecchhh! There, I finally did it. After threatening all these times, I've gone and done it. No...You clean it up...I just can't. My stomach acid and your grape Kool-Aid wafting through the air...makes me...well...want to…well…puke!

You know, it's amazing to me what some of you partners will talk about as your company gears up to put coal in everyone's geek-white Xma$ stockings. "Here, let's give uncle Bob that box of 5.25" floppies he's always wanted. Double-density!"

“Computer, Billy? No can do. Yah see, (Bush-ian speak), we're not ready with our OS quite yet. And, we can't figure out which one to give you, if we were. The one called Basic is good only for those 3rd world, wood-burning computers. Ultimate isn't for sale at any price (well, at least you can't buy it with an upgrade coupon).”

Acer thinks we're trying to do a squeeze play on their marketing plan and the rest aren't talking for fear of banishment from the Evil Empire.

Doesn’t it seem like the end product of your one-and-only American Monopoly is a one-and-only monopoly on abject chaos? Screwed up decisions, one-after-the-other? This whole company should be a ten volume case study in “how to do almost everything wrong and make a killing!” Oh, if that were only true. The “killing” was fortuitously made years ago when Microsoft became the only game in town for operating systems and office productivity.

Since those days, Microsoft management has taken on a “let them eat cake” mentality. Ask yourself, Microsofties, which Microsoft product or service has been introduced to the world at large without some serious purchasing caveat that has to return to the drawing board for serious rewrite?

Let’s move backward from Vista to prove this point: WGA, EULA, Vista Coupons, Vista Basic, Vista Ultimate, Vista featureless, Vista Hardware Requirements, Vista Pricing, Vista and the OEMs, Vista EU, blah, blah, blah. It’s comical, really. How can so many smart people be so dumb? Answer: Because they can. Why? No consequences for their actions.

Screw up? Just dig into that Scrooge McDuck Money Bin. No one, not the CFO, not the partners, not Bill Gates and not the stockholders will call you out on it! In fact, we all know you can screw up, not get fired, leave and come back at a higher status and pay level. Sometimes I wonder if this isn’t an Ivy-generated League of Incompetence. I mean, really, that many in one place should be illegal!

Recap: Tiny Tim La-La Land Mini-Microsoft poster causes Writer’s Vomitus causing knee jerk reaction to Vista Christmas Snafus causing WTF reaction to Microsoft non-responsibility clause in every manger’s contract, causing gratuitous remark about Ivy League of Incompetence causing…

Sense of resignation. Carry on!

Mini-Microsoft: Ba-Da-????
Mini-Microsoft: Microsoft FY07Q1 Results

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