Microstiff- Day 1 on Campus as Softie Evangelizer

Well, Thomas Hawk recommends, in his 4^th and final step to turn around Microsoft, that... “…rather than one or two top evangelists though they should hire about 30 of these connectors and also give them direct access to the executives making the business decisions at Microsoft.” I was the 30^th, they told me...when they said, "welcome aboard." Tsk.

Hey, no big deal since I was the only one who convinced Bill we needed at least these two (2) primary conditions in place to make things work:

1. Impromptu video shoots by this Blogger ...all with fun…yet tough questions to all of the interviewees AND access, as Hawk recommends, to everyone, from Bill to the janitor.
   
   These are to be “in camera” edits which means no 2^nd and 3^rd takes; the OFF button will be the only scene change; i.e. “cuts-only”.
   
   I impressed Bill with my lengthy experience as a wedding videographer and my many stand-up comedy gigs. One with Yakov Smirnov (sorry, Rusky-philes, he's from Iowa). My wedding examples spoke for themselves as did my witty repartee.
   
   
   
2. Transparency. No question is off limits. Subjects simply don’t have to answer. This will have the effect of bringing the elephant into focus – you know… the one in the room. It will be a promised breath of fresh air. Since my experience is more the computing industry, training, sales, marketing with a strong background in computing – BS/MIS, Northeastern University, Boston, MA, this additional "well-roundedness" made me ideal for the job.

And so, it began... the last of 30 guys and gals ferreting out the good stuff. Lord knows, with 70,000 employees, there’s plenty there. Just got to go “shoot” it.

As Bill and I shook hands, he also thanked me for stopping this incessant negative Microsoft Blogging as "Microstiff". I said, “you’re welcome, Bill, but remember, this is all going to be transferred humorously…to video. Same truthfulness, different medium.”

He paused for one of his 180 IQ nano-seconds and said, “Yup, lets’ hope it works.”

I said, “Oh, it will. It’s gonna be Scoble with an edge…a humorous edge.” He smiled and we parted.

I had to admire him; for one who finds it hard to give his kids a puppy to give this Evangelist the "humorist - devils advocate" position behind the three chip Sony...must have been hard for him. "I now see why he is where he is", I said to myself as I popped the first tape into the Sony, strapped the battery belt on and walked down the hallway on the way to LisaB's office. Let the games begin!

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

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Microstiff-Microsoft’s Dysfunction/Lottery Analogy

With all the latest anecdotal evidence of a Microsoft “foot-shooting implosion of the self-flagellation kind”, I got to thinking of just what the Softie was reminding me of. Something far away in my brain was tugging at me. I “slept on it” and sure enough, good ‘ol RIGHT BRAIN came up with the answer. (BTW – if you’re left-handed, is it your LEFT BRAIN that does that “subconscious two-step” for you?).

The answer is: Microsoft reminds me of the addicted/dysfunctional family that wins the lottery! Because they inevitably have “collected” self-defeating behaviors all their lifetimes, especially attitudes around money, they wobble and weave their way toward spiritual and actual bankruptcy soon after the money arrives.

And, for Microsoft, arrive it has! Fortuitous windfall profits from a continually lactating cash cow “A drunkards dream if I ever did see one”! (Eeeooo, makes you wanna swear off milk, doesn’t it!)

I’ll go one step further. The 70,000 Microsoft employees are like a gigantic AA meeting without the 12 Steps! For those of you who are a “friend of Bill’s” (not Gates; perish the thought!)…you’ll know what I mean. For those of you not, let me explain:

You gather under one roof, all 70,000 strong with one goal in mind: “To make a difference (pay the bills)”. However, the entity to whom you have entrusted that mission is not AA, not the universe, not God. It is Bill Gates and his partnering pals. Hence, your company has no real 12 steps to success. In fact, it has nothing except a HUGE cash supply. Microsoft is, in effect like a cork on the sea, waiting to be directed by the “winds of someone else’s successful, yet under funded…idea.” Then it swoops in with chests full of money, throwing thousands of people at the project and…it occasionally…wins: Windows, Office, Server.

Ahh, those were the good old days, weren’t they?! But now, as you lose more employees, customers and believers, you find yourself grasping for respect (we witness the flurry of your public relations postings of recent and past days). Your company blithely sails, nay...bobs its way towards another failure until the employees, customers and believers all run out. Such is the fate of the "Bad Ship Microsoft."

What’s the answer? Fire Bill Gates! Can Steve Ballmer! Stuff Lisa Brummel (HR)! Release the Partners and their sycophantic flunkies! Bring in a strong leader with simple goals. Rewrite every Mission Statement, Policy and most procedures. Invent something! Innovate! Live! (Not Lyve, Live as in “Live long and prosper”...the other word is dead at Microsoft!)

And Finally: Trust the bumper sticker, “First Things First”... Fire Bill Gates!

Do this and…as they say in the New York State Lottery TV Ads, “Hey, you never know!”

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!


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Microstiff-DOT, FAA, M-o-u-s-e! Who's the Leader...

...of the club that's made for you and me?
Bill Gates? Nuh-uh.
Steve Ballmer? Nuh-uh.
It's good old Uncle Sam! That's right. Right now he's the tail and Microsoft's the dog...and they's gettin' wagged! Oh, yeah!

How is this so, you say? Listen to this: Today, right on the tail
of the DOT ix-naying the ista-Vay, Office-ay 2007 and Explorer-ay 7 installation at all DOT sites, the FAA is announcing the same thing only they're taking it a step further; a HUGE step further:

...the top technology official at the Federal Aviation Administration revealed that he is considering a permanent ban on the Microsoft software in favor of a combination of Google's new online business applications running on Linux-based hardware."

What could this mean? Well, for one, that your uncle may have reached a fork in the road. Here's the fork:

Bowen's compatibility concerns, combined with the potential cost of upgrading the FAA's 45,000 workers to Microsoft's next-generation desktop environment, could make the moratorium permanent."

Gulp! Here's what Microsoft has to do to keep it all from happening:

...if Microsoft can satisfy his concerns over compatibility with the agency's existing applications and demonstrate why such a move would make financial sense given Google Apps's low price. "We have a trip to Microsoft scheduled for later this month," said Bowen."

.
Gulp! If you read the full article, you're left wondering, nay....doubting, nay...convinced...the Softie can't possibly do that. Softie don't play that! Softie CAN'T play that (see dumping, Robinson-Patman, Sherman Act).

Is Microsoft going to run the alphabet of all the government agencies. Who's next? FBI, CIA, M-o-u-s-e!


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Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!