Microstiff- Day 1 on Campus as Softie Evangelizer

Well, Thomas Hawk recommends, in his 4^th and final step to turn around Microsoft, that... “…rather than one or two top evangelists though they should hire about 30 of these connectors and also give them direct access to the executives making the business decisions at Microsoft.” I was the 30^th, they told me...when they said, "welcome aboard." Tsk.

Hey, no big deal since I was the only one who convinced Bill we needed at least these two (2) primary conditions in place to make things work:

1. Impromptu video shoots by this Blogger ...all with fun…yet tough questions to all of the interviewees AND access, as Hawk recommends, to everyone, from Bill to the janitor.
   
   These are to be “in camera” edits which means no 2^nd and 3^rd takes; the OFF button will be the only scene change; i.e. “cuts-only”.
   
   I impressed Bill with my lengthy experience as a wedding videographer and my many stand-up comedy gigs. One with Yakov Smirnov (sorry, Rusky-philes, he's from Iowa). My wedding examples spoke for themselves as did my witty repartee.
   
   
   
2. Transparency. No question is off limits. Subjects simply don’t have to answer. This will have the effect of bringing the elephant into focus – you know… the one in the room. It will be a promised breath of fresh air. Since my experience is more the computing industry, training, sales, marketing with a strong background in computing – BS/MIS, Northeastern University, Boston, MA, this additional "well-roundedness" made me ideal for the job.

And so, it began... the last of 30 guys and gals ferreting out the good stuff. Lord knows, with 70,000 employees, there’s plenty there. Just got to go “shoot” it.

As Bill and I shook hands, he also thanked me for stopping this incessant negative Microsoft Blogging as "Microstiff". I said, “you’re welcome, Bill, but remember, this is all going to be transferred humorously…to video. Same truthfulness, different medium.”

He paused for one of his 180 IQ nano-seconds and said, “Yup, lets’ hope it works.”

I said, “Oh, it will. It’s gonna be Scoble with an edge…a humorous edge.” He smiled and we parted.

I had to admire him; for one who finds it hard to give his kids a puppy to give this Evangelist the "humorist - devils advocate" position behind the three chip Sony...must have been hard for him. "I now see why he is where he is", I said to myself as I popped the first tape into the Sony, strapped the battery belt on and walked down the hallway on the way to LisaB's office. Let the games begin!

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

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Microstiff-Microsoft’s Dysfunction/Lottery Analogy

With all the latest anecdotal evidence of a Microsoft “foot-shooting implosion of the self-flagellation kind”, I got to thinking of just what the Softie was reminding me of. Something far away in my brain was tugging at me. I “slept on it” and sure enough, good ‘ol RIGHT BRAIN came up with the answer. (BTW – if you’re left-handed, is it your LEFT BRAIN that does that “subconscious two-step” for you?).

The answer is: Microsoft reminds me of the addicted/dysfunctional family that wins the lottery! Because they inevitably have “collected” self-defeating behaviors all their lifetimes, especially attitudes around money, they wobble and weave their way toward spiritual and actual bankruptcy soon after the money arrives.

And, for Microsoft, arrive it has! Fortuitous windfall profits from a continually lactating cash cow “A drunkards dream if I ever did see one”! (Eeeooo, makes you wanna swear off milk, doesn’t it!)

I’ll go one step further. The 70,000 Microsoft employees are like a gigantic AA meeting without the 12 Steps! For those of you who are a “friend of Bill’s” (not Gates; perish the thought!)…you’ll know what I mean. For those of you not, let me explain:

You gather under one roof, all 70,000 strong with one goal in mind: “To make a difference (pay the bills)”. However, the entity to whom you have entrusted that mission is not AA, not the universe, not God. It is Bill Gates and his partnering pals. Hence, your company has no real 12 steps to success. In fact, it has nothing except a HUGE cash supply. Microsoft is, in effect like a cork on the sea, waiting to be directed by the “winds of someone else’s successful, yet under funded…idea.” Then it swoops in with chests full of money, throwing thousands of people at the project and…it occasionally…wins: Windows, Office, Server.

Ahh, those were the good old days, weren’t they?! But now, as you lose more employees, customers and believers, you find yourself grasping for respect (we witness the flurry of your public relations postings of recent and past days). Your company blithely sails, nay...bobs its way towards another failure until the employees, customers and believers all run out. Such is the fate of the "Bad Ship Microsoft."

What’s the answer? Fire Bill Gates! Can Steve Ballmer! Stuff Lisa Brummel (HR)! Release the Partners and their sycophantic flunkies! Bring in a strong leader with simple goals. Rewrite every Mission Statement, Policy and most procedures. Invent something! Innovate! Live! (Not Lyve, Live as in “Live long and prosper”...the other word is dead at Microsoft!)

And Finally: Trust the bumper sticker, “First Things First”... Fire Bill Gates!

Do this and…as they say in the New York State Lottery TV Ads, “Hey, you never know!”

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!


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Microstiff - In Praise of Mini-Microsoft

Nothing could be more gratifying than praise from your fellow reporters and writer friends. I am not necessarily speaking of me - Microstiff.

No, this praise comes from a recognized industry pundit, Rob Enderle of TechNewsWorld and I thought I would tell you about it because...well...it's good stuff!

Rob says it all here and I would like to highlight some of the things that struck me:

There are two guilty pleasures I've developed of late. One is reading "Mini-Microsoft," which is an unauthorized blog by a Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) employee that probably does more to provide a glimpse inside the company and humanize it than anything the firm is officially doing. Taking this beyond Microsoft, I wonder if there is a way to do this more effectively to help a floundering company from the inside."

And more:

So, I really sympathize with the guy who writes "Mini-Microsoft," as well as the guy who used to write (and probably work) for Apple. The "Mini-Microsoft" posts are insightful and likely reflect the feelings inside the company more closely than its own employee surveys do."

Yet more:

According to one rule for effective teambuilding, the ratio of praise to criticism should be 4 to 1. "Mini-Microsoft" suggests it's more like 1 to 2; there is praise, but there seems to be much less of it than criticism. When there is a variation from this rule, it should probably go the other way."

And finally:

If there is criticism, there must be actionable recommendations. I actually think "Mini-Microsoft," in general, does a rather nice job of this. The author does seem to generally consider the implications of what he is criticizing and discusses action items. In most cases, when I see posts like this, they are constant rants. Rants are just annoying, and I've never seen them accomplish much of anything."

A few points from Microstiff:

Readers of Mini, let's all keep up the "actionable recommend- ations" part of our bargain, unwritten, to dialog with Mini!

Regarding "Praise" - Three (3) simple techniques, used sincerely, not manipulatively:

• "Praise in public, criticize in private" - Think about it. Sit down with someone and talk with them. If you're a manager, show them how they can improve. Too many times we say to ourselves, "his/her work sucks" and then, as managers, we don't try to correct it. It could be as simple, for them, as not knowing how something is done.
  
  
• "You can't know what you don't know" - Manager, ascertain what the employee knows and doesn't know. Don't cast blame because the employee may not know the right answer/policy/procedure; simply work to correct it. Don't "should" on the employee.
  
  
• Use the Sandwich Technique for behavior modification: "Praise (bread), problem behavior (meat), Praise again (bread). It works! Try it at home.
  
  
  

Again, Mini, congratulations on getting some well-deserved praise!


Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!



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Microstiff-DOT, FAA, M-o-u-s-e! Who's the Leader...

...of the club that's made for you and me?
Bill Gates? Nuh-uh.
Steve Ballmer? Nuh-uh.
It's good old Uncle Sam! That's right. Right now he's the tail and Microsoft's the dog...and they's gettin' wagged! Oh, yeah!

How is this so, you say? Listen to this: Today, right on the tail
of the DOT ix-naying the ista-Vay, Office-ay 2007 and Explorer-ay 7 installation at all DOT sites, the FAA is announcing the same thing only they're taking it a step further; a HUGE step further:

...the top technology official at the Federal Aviation Administration revealed that he is considering a permanent ban on the Microsoft software in favor of a combination of Google's new online business applications running on Linux-based hardware."

What could this mean? Well, for one, that your uncle may have reached a fork in the road. Here's the fork:

Bowen's compatibility concerns, combined with the potential cost of upgrading the FAA's 45,000 workers to Microsoft's next-generation desktop environment, could make the moratorium permanent."

Gulp! Here's what Microsoft has to do to keep it all from happening:

...if Microsoft can satisfy his concerns over compatibility with the agency's existing applications and demonstrate why such a move would make financial sense given Google Apps's low price. "We have a trip to Microsoft scheduled for later this month," said Bowen."

.
Gulp! If you read the full article, you're left wondering, nay....doubting, nay...convinced...the Softie can't possibly do that. Softie don't play that! Softie CAN'T play that (see dumping, Robinson-Patman, Sherman Act).

Is Microsoft going to run the alphabet of all the government agencies. Who's next? FBI, CIA, M-o-u-s-e!


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Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

Microstiff - Microsoft: Tinkerbell or Captain Hook? Aargh!

Chris Messina of Citizenagency.com says,

...the truth of the matter is that the core of Microsoft never changed, and that the values that propelled it to the top were antithetical to the openness, transparency and ethics that would rule in Web 2.0."

Chris strikes a chord with me and perhaps, you, when he goes on to say,

So in extending this a little further, I think Microsoft could have benefited from taking a Tinkerbell mentality — that is, one of utter subservience and partnership with its customers — listening to them, responding, guiding forward and taking risks, all because it believed it was acting in the interest of its most important customers, and not its shareholders."

And...

Now it seems, given the lukewarm response to Vista, that Microsoft’s Tinkerbell has, much like its mojo, died."

I think we can tell that Chris is "good folk" and someone you'd want on your side. He quotes Tim Bray in short little blurb witnessing the Softie's self-defeating behavior. Strong stuff.

I just want to add one thing - sort of a "Microstiff Denial Alert" - Tinkerbell hasn't died! She hasn't even arrived yet! Which of the Disney (Great site!) figures do you see as ruling the Evil Empire? I thought so!

No, my dear Microsofties and Softiefiles, it's Captain Hook at the helm. Aargh! And...he has several thousand Smee's to do his dirty work! (That'd be the partners and the managing sycophants, therein.)

No, dear hearts, if you've read this far, you are probably one of the many "Tinkerbells" this world needs to write the code and right the wrongs. It is the shortsighted Captain Hook's of the world who, in fear, must keep up the facade that they are in control of the ship, the customer, the marketplace, the OS...the world!

But, being a "Tinkerbell" doesn't mean being a pushover; far from it. Let's remember to keep up the good fight and maybe, just maybe, with or without the "fairy dust" we will elevate a "Tinker-Captain" to the helm. Let's just hope that the ship's excess Bounty doesn't postpone the coming Mutiny...for too long! Let's get back the MOJO!

Update: Some comfort: Remember that "People of the Lie", the facade mangers, the evil doers...have one primary trait - FEAR! So, go forth with the knowledge that those who hide the truth, should they be brave enough to read these words and others like them, are trembling from the fear of DISCOVERY and/or LOSING THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL THEY NOW HAVE. Believe it!


Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.


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"Microstiff - Office Live Technical Support...Can I Help You?"

"Good Monday Morning to you." How may I be of service to you?"

"No, I am sorry, we can't get you out of beta just yet. The Brahma bull tripped over the power cord and we have to wait for him to leave."



Update: IMHO, this pic is real; check it out, Dog! You can't make this stuff up!

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Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.