Microstiff – “I’d Buy Office 12 If Only You’d…”

Here’s my 2nd wish list. You know…the one that would make me want to purchase Office 12. Once again, you Microsofties have given me NO GOOD REASON TO BUY. Here’s what you have to do to make it worth my while:

• Give me back my "File" tab - I don't want to have to learn it any other way...especially when every non-Microsoft application on earth HAS IT THE OLD (AND BETTER) WAY. And...you DIDN'T ASK ME IF I WANTED IT THIS WAY! If you had, you'd have kept it the old way. Feature Shock, I tell you!
  
  I am a power user. Do you honestly think I am going to take the time to learn this Turkey? Classic example of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"! There is essentially NOTHING you can add to Office 12 except the aforementioned -- my previous Blog -- navigation enhancement. Instead, you have turned it into a mess. I teach beginning, intermediate and advanced Word and Excel. You've created a market for me and the 50 people who are going to purchase this new version between now and 2008.
  
  
• "Break it to me gently; let me down the easy way" - Give me a learning curve that combines classic with ribbon. Classic represents what I haven't learned; ribbon what I have. Let ME decide when and what I will learn. You're not the BOSS of me!
  
  
• "I need my space" - All that clutter from the ribbon takes up tons of space that I want for my spreadsheet or Word document. I don't want it hanging around looking pretty when it's the RESULTS that I want to look pretty not your freakin' supposed handiwork.
  
  
• Oh, there's more but...why go on? You have essentially RUINED the interface for an otherwise sterling product group. Results: Zero buying proposition. The competition couldn't have planned this version of Microsoft Office any better!
  
  

And...there yah have it, again, folks. This bank of udders on the old cash cow done dried up! Proof once more that you guys and gals are workin’ for a company totally and more completely than ever...out of touch! Tsk. Tsk.

This Just In: It just keeps getting more and more interesting (12/19/2006, 09:36 EST)

EPILOGUE: J'ever wonder why more people aren't talking like this about the cash cow? Because their jobs depend upon Microsoft in some large way. If they didn't sugar coat everything with double-meanings and innuendo, they'd be out of a job. Me? I've got no job to be out of. Freedom's just another word for....?

Mini-Microsoft: Limited Round-Up, New Souls, and Old Problems
Mini-Microsoft: A Peanut Butter Manifesto for Microsoft to Chew On

Microstiff – “I’d Buy Vista If Only You’d…”

Here’s my wish list. You know…the one that would make me want to purchase Vista. So far, you Microsofties have given me NO GOOD REASON TO BUY. Here’s what you have to do to make it worth my while:

• Have a “hook”…a feature that says to me, “Hey, this really IS better than XP!” My vote would be the feature that’s been gossiped about which enhances Internet navigation: Four (4) simple mouse motions, at the pointer, which go back, go forward, go to bottom, “x” out of the window, refresh, whatever. Saves a lot of moving to the toolbar. Gives corporate data entry a leg up on the competition as a great time saver = more productivity. Internet surfers catch a big wave...faster.
  
  The laptop folks get a magically appearing little graphic, right at the pointer; just tap and go! Gives corporate road warriors faster ways to the bottom line. Laptop surfers catch a HUGE wave!
  
  
• Guarantee an easy upgrade from XP; quick and dirty.
  
  
• Don’t cost so freakin’ much for so little. Maybe the “hook” above would make it worthwhile.
  
  
• Don’t confuse me so my question isn’t only WHY but WHICH ONE should I buy?
  
  
• Make the product work just as good as my current XP…FROM DAY ONE! Why should I go backwards? I’ll wait until the pundits tell me what’s best. And, not the current batch of pundits who are all on the Microsoft payroll…LIPSTICKING MS. PIGGY!

There yah have it. The cash cow’s a little short on milk. Just further proof you guys and gals are workin’ for a company totally out of touch! Tsk.

Mini-Microsoft: Limited Round-Up, New Souls, and Old Problems
Mini-Microsoft: A Peanut Butter Manifesto for Microsoft to Chew On

Microstiff – Mary Jo Says MSFT to Expose Mini in 2007. Film at 11:00!

Mary Jo Foley in her RedmondMag.com Foley on Microsoft article “Microsoft Prognostications: What's Up in 2007?” says Mini will be gone in 2007. She says:

Mini-Microsoft will be outed (or just drop out). Microsoft's infamous anonymous blogger, who is known for stumping for a leaner, meaner Microsoft, has been wavering a lot over the past year as to whether he (we know the person is male) will continue in his role as Microsoft's conscience. I foresee 2007 as the year that Microsoft gets tougher on its bloggers.”

Ooooh! Look at me…I’m so scared. Whadaya gonna do, Bill, call Patricia Dunn, ex HP board member, to see how it’s done? Go ahead, Billy boy, give it your best shot. Only you better be careful because even you and your Keystone Cops will not be above the law. Tread lightly, oh Windowed one, because while some see you as the next president of these United States, there are others who wouldn’t mind seeing a “perp walk” to a waiting Mercedes 600 paddy wagon in front of Mr. Bill’s mansion. Film at 11:00

So, while you’re trampling all over free speech at Redmond, remember to perform this one project better than any that have preceded it. Because…if you treat it like Vista, for instance, poor Mini won’t be outed for, let’s say, six years. That’s plenty of time to continue telling the truth.

Same deal with Zune, Dynamics, Office 12, IP TV.

What kills me is that y’all somehow perceive Mini as a threat. He is the best single source for corporate awareness, metamorphosis, awakening, prosperity, growth with goodness, joy and more…that a company in crisis…could EVER have!

I honestly believe that the vast majority who read and comment on Mini, myself included, want to see Microsoft prosper even more than you and your lieutenants; it’s just that they want the prosperity to come with goodness, fairness and passion. They would love to wake up almost every morning and go to a job that maximizes their abilities to contribute and connect with passionate, goal-achieving peers and managers!

They would love the feel the excitement that comes with the creation and promotion of a well-thought-out product or service instead of feeling hopeless in the knowledge that their company has lost its heart…its way.

So, should you somehow stumble towards removing Mini you will unknowingly be hurting your corporate self. Here’s hoping you achieve the same amount of success in this endeavor as in others. Can we count on you? I knew we could. Film at 11:00?

Mini-Microsoft: Limited Round-Up, New Souls, and Old Problems
Mini-Microsoft: A Peanut Butter Manifesto for Microsoft to Chew On